Couples therapy can be a challenging process. It’s important to remember progress may not always be linear or immediately apparent. However, if you have been seeing a couples counsellor and you are wondering if the therapy is actually working, here are some key indicators:
You feel like no progress is being made. If you find you and your partner are not making any progress with improved communication or your other goals, or you feel your therapist is only offering advice, could be an indicator that the counsellor and their therapy is not working. Remember advice is free. A Registered Clinical Counsellor who is skilled in couples therapy, will be doing far more than just offering advice and.
You and/or your partner feel uncomfortable or unsupported. It is key for you to feel a counsellor is supporting you. When you feel uncomfortable or unsupported during therapy sessions, or if you feel like the therapist is unable to create a safe and supportive environment for you and your partner to share your feeling and be self- disclosing, it may be a sign that the therapy or the counsellor is not a fit.
Feeling misunderstood: If you therapist is not understanding your concerns or is not addressing the issues that are important to you and your partner, it may be an indicator that the therapy is not working.
When you or your partner feel like the therapist is taking sides. If you are finding your counsellor is taking sides or is not remaining impartial, it could be a sign it’s time to change counsellors. The well-trained couples’ therapist is on the side of the couple and will not direct the problem to one individual.
Lack of chemistry: It is important you feel comfortable or connected to the therapist. When you and your partner find you are feeling uncomfortable with a counsellor it may be a sign that the therapy or therapist is not working for you.
The couples therapist is unable to understand and distinguish cultural differences between feminine culture, masculine culture and gender issues. This is an indication that the therapist may not fully understand the influences of culture on emotional availability, emotional disclosure, and masculine and feminine gender norms.
It’s important to discuss any concerns you or your partner have with your counsellor
and review options to address these issues. However, if you are still feeling your
therapy is not working after identifying your concerns, it could be time to consider
finding a counsellor who you do feel comfortable with, a counsellor who will guide
you and provide unconditional acceptance in order to be a better fit for you and your partner.
