Couples & Marriage Counselling in Langley, BC

What happens in couples counselling?

You may sit down to talk about parenting or money and find yourselves back in the same argument. One of you keeps trying to talk because the silence feels like rejection. The other goes quiet because the conversation feels overwhelming. We slow that moment down and listen to each of you. What are you trying to say, and what is your partner hearing? That gives us somewhere specific to begin.

Dr. Michael Dadson’s work with couples draws on attachment and trauma-informed care. What you’ve learned about closeness and conflict, including through family and cultural expectations, can shape how you hear one another today. When trust has been broken, we take time to understand the hurt, clarify where responsibility belongs, and talk about what reliable changes would look like over time. We also consider emotional and physical safety when deciding whether meeting together is appropriate.

Research links a strong working relationship with the counsellor to better outcomes in couples and family therapy. Outcomes were poorer when that relationship was stronger with one person than with another. That matters when you arrive with different hopes. We begin by understanding what each of you is experiencing and develop goals together, with room for both of you to say how the work is going. Friedlander and colleagues, 2018.

In one randomized couples counselling study, partners who gave regular feedback about their progress and experience of therapy improved more than those who received usual care. In practice, a check-in can be as simple as asking whether you could pause a difficult conversation and return to it together, or whether one of you is still leaving sessions feeling unheard. Anker and colleagues, 2009.